When December comes, everyone gets too excited – long vacation, family and friends’ get-together parties, gift giving and so on. But me, I’m not that excited because when December comes all I can think about is my age and the year added to it. I know age is just a number, but my age reminds me that I’m not getting younger anymore to do all the things I need to do. I have a million “What if’s” in my mind right now. But the one “what if” question that I’m really afraid of is – What if I die soon?
I’m not worrying about this because I’m scared to die. Honestly, I’m not. Every time I go to bed, for the past years, I always tell God that I’m ready. But this year, I’m not. I can’t discuss my reasons in here, it’s too personal. But one thing for sure, I need a lot of time to resolve all of it.
I just hope God will give me enough time to resolve the problem, or most of it, before my time comes.