Happy Mother’s Day!

I am not good in making poems.

And after you read this, you’ll agree.

But I want to do something different this Mother’s Day.

Something out of my comfort zone, for my mama to feel more special.

And I realized holiday cards always have a poem on it or quotes.

So, I thought maybe that what makes people want it.

I know, stupidest idea ever.

Anyway, it’s worth a try.

***

 

To my Mama,

          Whenever I was sick and feeling blue,

          Mama always there to comfort me.

 

          Whenever I received a failing grade,

          Mama always there to cheer me up.

 

          Whenever a ball hit me on my face,

          Mama always there to put ice on my bump.

 

          And whenever I feel that the world is against me,

          Mama always there to tell me good advice.

 

          I may not be a perfect daughter,

          I may not say ‘I love you’ often,

          But one thing I can promise you Mama,

          I will always be there for you;

          When you needed someone to comfort you,

          Or to cheer you up in your lonely days.

          I will take care of you until you grow old,

          And I will never get tired to love you until the end of time.

 

          Happy Mother’s Day, Mama!

                                                                                                             – XOXO –


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What’s new?

I’ve been absent in the blogging world for I think months. But what’s new!? I’m not really that active in the blogging world ever since I started this blog.

But anyways, the reason I’m not active the past few months is because I’ve been busy finishing my pending stories. If you read my New Year’s goals, you know that I’m just keeping my goals seriously… for the first time. And I finished two, the ghost story that until now I don’t have a title for it; and the second one is the new and English version of Marica. Yes, I translated it in English because I’m planning to create my story on Episode (the mobile app where you can read stories). With this, I decided to re-name some of the characters, removed some scenes, and added a new one.

I will soon post this either here or in my WattPad page.

Anyway, I still have 6 pending stories to work on:

1 My obsession with love, sex, and death (fictional autobiography)

2 Confession of two hearts (romance) – actually, this one is already done but since I wrote it during my high school days, there are some scenes that are… let’s just say I will make it more realistic.

3 Mary Ann (thriller)

4 Re-vamping my Killing 101 compilation (horror) – I decided to re-name this to Añinoir’s Murderous Musing. I will also edit the short stories in this collection.

5 The tale of Añinoir (fairy tale)

6 Piece of me (thriller) – I’m not sure on this one if I really want to make this a full-length story. But due to some requests, I will try.


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The Ups and Downs of being unemployed

Life is a story and it depends on the person on how she/he will write it.

And this is how I will write my current status… being unemployed.

Many of us know that at the age of 30, a person should be stable to his/her career, financially, personally, and earned their first million. Being unemployed is certainly not on the list. But what can I say, I’m not one of those lucky people who already achieved their 30-year-old goals because for the 5th time, I am unemployed. It’s not always my fault… except for the first two jobs I had.

Anyway, during application interviews, interviewers usually asks you “what’s keeping you busy aside from looking for a job?” something like that. I confidently answered this by saying “I’m busy browsing the internet and newspaper ads looking for all the job openings, and writing stories.”. I said this because I want them to think that I’m persistent and not wasting my time for non-sense activities.

After few interviews and no call backs, there I realized that I just killed my own chance of getting hired to the companies I applied to. Maybe they’re thinking I’m not doing anything for myself to grow and learn new skills; that I’m depending my skill development on my next job. So, while I hunt for a new job, I decided to develop new skills.

My first skill to learn is drawing. I chose this because this could help me in building my portfolio and land a graphic designer job. I consulted my sister because she’s into drawing and painting, and she’s very good at it. I thought it’s a talent she got from our family. But I’m surprise when she told me that it’s not a talent, it just a skill she practiced for years. She even told me that I, too, can draw beautiful masterpiece if I will just practice it. And that’s what I did, I draw. You might remember Cinderella, I posted it in here with no lips. I’m having hard time to draw her lips. But now, I decided to finish it. Of course, I failed. She still has no lips up to now. **If someone knows how to draw lips, please give me some tips. I will appreciate it a lot.**

Cinderella drawing
This is Cinderella with no lips until now 😦

After few months of drawing, I realized… drawing isn’t my thing.  Every time I finished a drawing, I looked at it and feel nothing. So, I try coloring. My sisters are very supportive of me and bought me different coloring books. And for some reason, I’m excited and happy. And I can’t stop staring at it every time I finished coloring it. I guess, this is my thing. Now, every time I’m in the bookstore, I stopped at the school supplies section and looking for different kinds of coloring materials. Also, to the kid’s book section where all the coloring books are in there. I almost cried, honestly, when I saw a Big Hero 6 coloring book. It’s like a graphic novel and you’re the one to color it. Isn’t that amazing?! I always wanted to have my own graphic novel, so, this coloring book gives me an idea to make it like this.

coloring materials and books
My coloring collection 🙂

Because of this, I decide to try painting as well. I never started because I’m still addicted in coloring all the coloring books my sisters and I bought. But after this, I’m sure I will start painting and maybe visit some museums for some inspirations. Or go to the art studio named ‘Sip and Gogh’. My sisters went there and I heard a lot of good things.

To sum up, the downside of being unemployed at the age of 30 are: financially unstable, some people might think of you as a failure; that you can’t keep a job because there is something wrong with you, and lastly, loneliness. But despite of these, being unemployed is not the end-of-the-world kind of thing… it’s an opportunity to do something you enjoy and love. I think that’s the silver lining of being unemployed.

I hope I inspire some people today! If not, go out there and find  your own inspiration.


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VALENTINE: A DAY TO CELEBRATE & PROMOTE LOVE

Love is in the air!

Soon, every store will be filled with people who will buy flowers & chocolates for their loved ones.

I don’t have any special plan for today, just like the previous years of my life. But it’s okay, I thought my purpose is to share facts about Valentine’s day. For this year, I will share 2 important information that I found on Google.

First is the story of Saint Valentine, a Roman priest, who were sentenced in 269 A.D. to a three-part execution of a beating, stoning, and finally decapitation all because of his stand for Christian marriage.1

In my opinion, Saint Valentine’s story is a great reminder that this day is a celebration of love at its purest; and not just any tradition where if you didn’t give anything special to your girlfriend/wife/husband/boyfriend, he/she will never talk to you again. Of course, the latter part is exaggerated. I honestly don’t know how people react when they don’t receive gifts from their loved ones on this day.

Lastly, the places where you couldn’t celebrate Valentine’s day. For couples who love to travel, it’s a must to know the places where you wouldn’t end up in jail just because you celebrate Valentine’s day. Some of the countries that don’t celebrate Valentine’s is: Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, Malaysia, and Iran.2

There are explanations in the articles, you can check it below for later.

Well, that’s all for now… enjoy your day!

– XOXO –


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REFERENCE:

http://www1.cbn.com/st-valentine-real-story

2 https://thecoverage.my/lifestyle/youth/six-countries-that-banned-valentines-day/

DYING SILENTLY…

Have you ever looked at the sky and appreciate it?

How about watching the sun as it comes up and put a light on a dark sky?

Or listen to the sound of the rain as it pours down on your roof?

If not, don’t worry… you’re not the only one.

I used to be one of those people who were too busy to appreciate nature;

… One of those people who got lost track in time;

… one of those people who never even bother to take good care of themselves, as long as they are rewarded.

But life is so unpredictable.

In a snapped of a finger, everything in my life… changed.

Everything I dream of, vanished in thin air;

Everything that I work hard for, got wasted.

Now, every single day of my life

All the things that I used to ignore, is now, being treasured.

But as days passed by and turned into months,

I realized, it’s always the same.

The color of the sky will always be blue.

The sun always comes up every morning

And comes down at night.

Everything becomes a routine.

Boredom, clearly, strikes in me.

Loneliness filled in my heart and mind.

I never felt so alone… so lonely;

I even felt so scared looking myself at the mirror,

Scared to see what I become… a failure.

Sometimes, I think of death.

‘Coz death seems to be a sweet escape;

A never-ending sleep that promise serenity.

But no matter how I tried, I always failed.

It’s funny because even death made me feel like a total loser… a failure.

Now, I’m here in my room, lying on my bed thinking all the mistakes and failures I’ve done in my life;

… the disappointment I gave to my family;

… and the false hope I once gave to myself;

I suddenly lose my interest in getting up;

And become too weak to start my day;

Because at the end of the day, I always know, I still end up like this… hopeless and desperate.

Maybe one day, hopefully, death will come and save me from my loneliness.

But until then, I will be here … dying silently.


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BACK FOR MORE!

So far, this is the busiest year of my life. There are lots of things going on in my life – both good and bad. For the bad days, I’m trying my best to look at the brighter side of it.

Anyway, my birthday is just few weeks away. I am turning 30 so I’m not that excited. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for reaching 30. But in terms of the things that a 30-year old person should have, *sigh*, I am not even close. My career, still no luck. And since my career is such a failure, so as the financial aspect of my life. It sucks!

But I’m not losing hope since the year doesn’t end yet. So, there is still a chance that it might change from sucks to wow!

While I am waiting for that to happen, I will just keep myself busy by organizing my social media account and checking my list of things to be done before I turn 30.

I will just start to the latter part.

One of my goals before turning 30 is to read 30 books. Unfortunately, that is way too far from reality. So, I just change it to finish all my pending stories. And I am happy to say that I finished writing & editing one of my pending stories with a title: KILLING 101: TORTURE. Also, I’ve finished a new story with a title: KILLING 101: DELICIOUS REVENGE.

I am quite proud to myself since I never finished before two stories in one day. It’s a new record for me, yay! (NOTE: I will add this to my bucket list before I turn 30)

Next, I am planning to compile all the stories I wrote in my blog and as well as the stories I contributed to other blogs, which is Maldita’s Society. GOOD NEWS: As of yesterday, I finished compiling all my stories. I am just giving it a quick edit before I print it.

So far so good.

Now, I am going to proceed in organizing my social media accounts.

For my blog, I will have certain changes like I will no longer post my new stories in here. When I started blogging, that is my only goal – to post in here my stories to raise audience and reach out to other writers around the world. But now, with all the new platform in the web, I realized that a blog is not a good platform for it anymore. (NOTE: this is only my opinion)

My blog will now serve as a news bulletin for my new stories with proper links to my Wattpad & Booklat page.

Also, I will add ‘Niña Loves Pink’ here in my blog. I finally decided to delete ‘Niña Loves Pink’ blog because having two blogs requires too much work. I also deactivated my Tumblr, Facebook, and Remember an inspiring ocean Twitter account. I am now using my personal Twitter account for my blog.

Now I can confidently say that I can fully concentrate in writing my stories. No more distraction, I hope.


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Not in the mood to kill

I know it’s not a good title, but that’s what I feel right now.

Killing a character is my passion. I can’t write a story without killing any of my characters. And I don’t need to be in the mood to do it. Once I grabbed a pen and a pad, nobody can stop me from writing… even food can’t stop me. I will just write and write, killing one character to another.

But now, I just can’t.

I thought this is another writer’s block. But it’s not! I have the will to write, I’m so ready to make another kill. But my mood is not into it. Is this another sign of aging?

Anyway, I just hope I can get over this feeling soon because I have a lot of stories to finish. *sigh.


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