Have you ever looked at the sky and appreciate it?
How about watching the sun as it comes up and put a light on a dark sky?
Or listen to the sound of the rain as it pours down on your roof?
If not, don’t worry… you’re not the only one.
I used to be one of those people who were too busy to appreciate nature;
… One of those people who got lost track in time;
… one of those people who never even bother to take good care of themselves, as long as they are rewarded.
But life is so unpredictable.
In a snapped of a finger, everything in my life… changed.
Everything I dream of, vanished in thin air;
Everything that I work hard for, got wasted.
Now, every single day of my life
All the things that I used to ignore, is now, being treasured.
But as days passed by and turned into months,
I realized, it’s always the same.
The color of the sky will always be blue.
The sun always comes up every morning
And comes down at night.
Everything becomes a routine.
Boredom, clearly, strikes in me.
Loneliness filled in my heart and mind.
I never felt so alone… so lonely;
I even felt so scared looking myself at the mirror,
Scared to see what I become… a failure.
Sometimes, I think of death.
‘Coz death seems to be a sweet escape;
A never-ending sleep that promise serenity.
But no matter how I tried, I always failed.
It’s funny because even death made me feel like a total loser… a failure.
Now, I’m here in my room, lying on my bed thinking all the mistakes and failures I’ve done in my life;
… the disappointment I gave to my family;
… and the false hope I once gave to myself;
I suddenly lose my interest in getting up;
And become too weak to start my day;
Because at the end of the day, I always know, I still end up like this… hopeless and desperate.
Maybe one day, hopefully, death will come and save me from my loneliness.
But until then, I will be here … dying silently.