DYING SILENTLY…

Have you ever looked at the sky and appreciate it?

How about watching the sun as it comes up and put a light on a dark sky?

Or listen to the sound of the rain as it pours down on your roof?

If not, don’t worry… you’re not the only one.

I used to be one of those people who were too busy to appreciate nature;

… One of those people who got lost track in time;

… one of those people who never even bother to take good care of themselves, as long as they are rewarded.

But life is so unpredictable.

In a snapped of a finger, everything in my life… changed.

Everything I dream of, vanished in thin air;

Everything that I work hard for, got wasted.

Now, every single day of my life

All the things that I used to ignore, is now, being treasured.

But as days passed by and turned into months,

I realized, it’s always the same.

The color of the sky will always be blue.

The sun always comes up every morning

And comes down at night.

Everything becomes a routine.

Boredom, clearly, strikes in me.

Loneliness filled in my heart and mind.

I never felt so alone… so lonely;

I even felt so scared looking myself at the mirror,

Scared to see what I become… a failure.

Sometimes, I think of death.

‘Coz death seems to be a sweet escape;

A never-ending sleep that promise serenity.

But no matter how I tried, I always failed.

It’s funny because even death made me feel like a total loser… a failure.

Now, I’m here in my room, lying on my bed thinking all the mistakes and failures I’ve done in my life;

… the disappointment I gave to my family;

… and the false hope I once gave to myself;

I suddenly lose my interest in getting up;

And become too weak to start my day;

Because at the end of the day, I always know, I still end up like this… hopeless and desperate.

Maybe one day, hopefully, death will come and save me from my loneliness.

But until then, I will be here … dying silently.


#RememberanInspiringOcean