The Ups and Downs of being unemployed

Life is a story and it depends on the person on how she/he will write it.

And this is how I will write my current status… being unemployed.

Many of us know that at the age of 30, a person should be stable to his/her career, financially, personally, and earned their first million. Being unemployed is certainly not on the list. But what can I say, I’m not one of those lucky people who already achieved their 30-year-old goals because for the 5th time, I am unemployed. It’s not always my fault… except for the first two jobs I had.

Anyway, during application interviews, interviewers usually asks you “what’s keeping you busy aside from looking for a job?” something like that. I confidently answered this by saying “I’m busy browsing the internet and newspaper ads looking for all the job openings, and writing stories.”. I said this because I want them to think that I’m persistent and not wasting my time for non-sense activities.

After few interviews and no call backs, there I realized that I just killed my own chance of getting hired to the companies I applied to. Maybe they’re thinking I’m not doing anything for myself to grow and learn new skills; that I’m depending my skill development on my next job. So, while I hunt for a new job, I decided to develop new skills.

My first skill to learn is drawing. I chose this because this could help me in building my portfolio and land a graphic designer job. I consulted my sister because she’s into drawing and painting, and she’s very good at it. I thought it’s a talent she got from our family. But I’m surprise when she told me that it’s not a talent, it just a skill she practiced for years. She even told me that I, too, can draw beautiful masterpiece if I will just practice it. And that’s what I did, I draw. You might remember Cinderella, I posted it in here with no lips. I’m having hard time to draw her lips. But now, I decided to finish it. Of course, I failed. She still has no lips up to now. **If someone knows how to draw lips, please give me some tips. I will appreciate it a lot.**

Cinderella drawing

This is Cinderella with no lips until now 😦

After few months of drawing, I realized… drawing isn’t my thing.  Every time I finished a drawing, I looked at it and feel nothing. So, I try coloring. My sisters are very supportive of me and bought me different coloring books. And for some reason, I’m excited and happy. And I can’t stop staring at it every time I finished coloring it. I guess, this is my thing. Now, every time I’m in the bookstore, I stopped at the school supplies section and looking for different kinds of coloring materials. Also, to the kid’s book section where all the coloring books are in there. I almost cried, honestly, when I saw a Big Hero 6 coloring book. It’s like a graphic novel and you’re the one to color it. Isn’t that amazing?! I always wanted to have my own graphic novel, so, this coloring book gives me an idea to make it like this.

coloring materials and books

My coloring collection 🙂

Because of this, I decide to try painting as well. I never started because I’m still addicted in coloring all the coloring books my sisters and I bought. But after this, I’m sure I will start painting and maybe visit some museums for some inspirations. Or go to the art studio named ‘Sip and Gogh’. My sisters went there and I heard a lot of good things.

To sum up, the downside of being unemployed at the age of 30 are: financially unstable, some people might think of you as a failure; that you can’t keep a job because there is something wrong with you, and lastly, loneliness. But despite of these, being unemployed is not the end-of-the-world kind of thing… it’s an opportunity to do something you enjoy and love. I think that’s the silver lining of being unemployed.

I hope I inspire some people today! If not, go out there and find  your own inspiration.


#RememberanInspiringOcean

DYING SILENTLY…

Have you ever looked at the sky and appreciate it?

How about watching the sun as it comes up and put a light on a dark sky?

Or listen to the sound of the rain as it pours down on your roof?

If not, don’t worry… you’re not the only one.

I used to be one of those people who were too busy to appreciate nature;

… One of those people who got lost track in time;

… one of those people who never even bother to take good care of themselves, as long as they are rewarded.

But life is so unpredictable.

In a snapped of a finger, everything in my life… changed.

Everything I dream of, vanished in thin air;

Everything that I work hard for, got wasted.

Now, every single day of my life

All the things that I used to ignore, is now, being treasured.

But as days passed by and turned into months,

I realized, it’s always the same.

The color of the sky will always be blue.

The sun always comes up every morning

And comes down at night.

Everything becomes a routine.

Boredom, clearly, strikes in me.

Loneliness filled in my heart and mind.

I never felt so alone… so lonely;

I even felt so scared looking myself at the mirror,

Scared to see what I become… a failure.

Sometimes, I think of death.

‘Coz death seems to be a sweet escape;

A never-ending sleep that promise serenity.

But no matter how I tried, I always failed.

It’s funny because even death made me feel like a total loser… a failure.

Now, I’m here in my room, lying on my bed thinking all the mistakes and failures I’ve done in my life;

… the disappointment I gave to my family;

… and the false hope I once gave to myself;

I suddenly lose my interest in getting up;

And become too weak to start my day;

Because at the end of the day, I always know, I still end up like this… hopeless and desperate.

Maybe one day, hopefully, death will come and save me from my loneliness.

But until then, I will be here … dying silently.


#RememberanInspiringOcean

MY ONLINE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE

Convenient and hassle-free shopping experience are just two of the reasons why online shopping become in demand these days.

At first, I am hesitant to buy in any online shops. No one can blame me, with all the news about being scam, I am just being practical and cautious. But I am not totally against buying in online shops. In 2014, that was when I first trust an online shop – Metrodeal. I bought food coupons, gift certificates, and other things that doesn’t need to be fit. Up to this day, I never had a single problem with them.

That was when I realized that not all online shops are scam…. They can be trusted.

Last year, I started again to shop online. I saw the necklace that I always wanted on HolyLand Mall page in FaceBook, so I placed my order and waited for someone to call for confirmation. When they did, we talked about the price and delivery details. And everything went well. When I received the package, I am neither displease nor excited to what I’ve seen. Let’s just say, the necklace’s quality is not what I expected since it wasn’t cheap. But because of the sweet experience I had with them, when they called me again in November of 2016, I’ve been convinced to buy two necklace (with, of course, a promise that the quality is much better than the last one). So, I waited for it to be deliver.

When the delivery guy came in, I found out that they shipped the wrong product. I told the delivery guy about it and he advised me not to accept the package and just contact HolyLand Mall representative. And that was exactly what I did. This was when everything went from sweet to sour. I sent an e-mail to the HolyLand Mall representative (the one who I deal with in that transaction) and an SMS message to their mobile number that they provided. For the whole month of December, no one ever contacted me. I sent another SMS message and e-mail to them, but this time, the e-mail bounced back to me with a message that the e-mail address that I am trying to contact DOES NOT EXIST.

Honestly, when I read those words, my heart got broken into pieces. But God is good, because the payment method I chose was cash on delivery. So, my money is still safe with me.

January of this year, a representative called me with regard of my complain but I told her I’m not interested anymore, in an irate mode. I know it wasn’t fair for the representative, but she is just a month late for a damage control.

Another experience I had was with Corset Authority PH, this happened last year as well. I was looking for a legit waist trainer back then and I found their page on Facebook. So, I did my research and found not a single complain about them. So, I made my order. But since I was clueless about waist trainer, I asked the representative of what type of waist trainer is best for me and she did give me an answer. She was very friendly and accommodating. She told me everything that I needed to know. And when the package arrived, I instantly fell in love with it.

Since I received a great product, I recommended it with my sisters. On December, my sisters decided to buy their own waist trainer. Unfortunately, they don’t have stocks anymore for that specific waist trainer. But the representative offered me a different type of waist trainer. I asked if the size is different, she said no. I waited for her to tell me the difference of that waist trainer and the one that I have (since that was what she did to me before), but she tells me nothing. Instantly, I thought it is exactly the same.

When I received the package early January, I am more excited than my sisters. But when they tried it, it was defective and it is not exactly the same with my waist trainer. I tried many times and in different ways to wear a waist trainer but still it didn’t work. So, I contacted the representative through FB messenger, and told her everything with pictures of the waist trainer. And once again, my experience went from sweet to sour.

After a long argument, they replaced my order.

I do love their waist trainer. I will still recommend it to everyone. But with all the things they’ve said to me, it’s best for me to not buy in there anymore.

With all the things that I’ve experience with online shops, I learned one thing and that is, you’ll always have a red-carpet experience for your first purchase. Don’t expect the same for your next.

Anyway, that is just for now. I might still change my mind if I found another online shop like Metrodeal.


#NiñaLovesPink

*Note: This is not an advertisement or whatsoever. This is purely my opinion.

December Madness

When December comes, everyone gets too excited – long vacation, family and friends’ get-together parties, gift giving and so on. But me, I’m not that excited because when December comes all I can think about is my age and the year added to it. I know age is just a number, but my age reminds me that I’m not getting younger anymore to do all the things I need to do. I have a million “What if’s” in my mind right now. But the one “what if” question that I’m really afraid of is – What if I die soon?

I’m not worrying about this because I’m scared to die. Honestly, I’m not. Every time I go to bed, for the past years, I always tell God that I’m ready. But this year, I’m not. I can’t discuss my reasons in here, it’s too personal. But one thing for sure, I need a lot of time to resolve all of it.

I just hope God will give me enough time to resolve the problem, or most of it, before my time comes.


#RememberanInspiringOcean

 

Color of the day: Blue

This blog supposed to showcase my talent in writing fiction stories. But as you can see, I didn’t kept it that way. I let my feelings out sometimes. Just like this post…

I’m feeling blue because of the sudden changes happened to me. To sum it up — I’m unemployed… Again!

But this time, it wasn’t my decision. The company has certain problems and since I’m not a regular employee, they let me go. I didn’t know if that is good on my part. But I know I have to move on and have a fresh start.

But that’s the problem, I didn’t know where to start. I’ve applied and been interviewed by different companies for the past few weeks, but none of those companies seems to excite me. Or even if there was, I’m feeling scared for the reason I don’t know.

I started to have doubts on my capabilities. Maybe I’m not good enough, that’s the reason why they let me go. I know I shouldn’t think that way since the GM assured me that it wasn’t about my performance, that I met their expectations and they wanted me to grow with them. BUT… And the rest of it is history.

What am I going to do now? I’m turning 29 this year and still, I haven’t achieved anything yet. Pathetic right?!

Inner peace, where are you?


#RememberanInspiringOcean